Ever been so badly hurt by someone, that even after all has been said and done, you get really angry by the mere mention of that person’s name? Anger, if left untreated, will fester and grow out of our control. It will take over your life and you will become bitter. Continue reading this article and learn to choose to be a victor not a victim.
Why it is easy to hold a grudge:
If you never put yourself into the shoes of the person who has wronged you, it will be easier to hold a grudge than if you do. It is the desire for things to always go the way we want them to that fastens us to an intense resentment. We direct this to people who, in our opinion, are responsible for the unwanted outcome of situations. This is a grudge.
Why it is bad to hold a grudge:
Once you allow yourself to feel such strong negative feelings toward someone, you become indebted to that feeling. When you have a grudge against someone, if they enter the same room as you, your entire countenance will change. Facial expressions along with your internal perusals are quite somber and dark when this happens.
Some grudges take away meaningful relationships, but they all take away the smiles. It is impossible to have peace and un-forgiveness in our lives. A persons who has done something against us may be sorry and repentant, but we will never allow ourselves to see the good them. This is the effect of keeping a grudge. Whilst others are happy and free, it keeps you from moving on.
Benefits of letting go:
If you choose to let go of your grudge against someone, you will achieve the freedom that you desire. You will be free regardless of whether that person has changed or not. You will be able to foster healthier relationships with people. You will feel a lot less stressed. This in turn lowers your blood pressure levels. You’ll be doing wonders for your heart, as the rush to pump blood around your body ceases.
A great benefit of forgiveness is greater spiritual and psychological well-being. You now learn how to intercept the flow of negative thoughts. You won’t find yourself spiraling into depression. Letting go of your hurt helps your emotional wounds heal.
Low self-esteem damages a person’s self-confidence and their confidence in others. In cases where something thoughtless has been said to you, as you let go of your grudge and find happiness in forgiveness, you will also let go of the mean words that you keep playing over again in your mind. The less you ponder on these words, the more you accept yourself for who you truly are.
Ways to start forgiving others:
If you want to forgive others, but you don’t know where to begin, don’t worry. Here are a few tips below:
For matters concerning hurt feelings or a bruised ego, where pride fuels your anger, the truth must be accepted. Make an assessment of every emotion that you feel when you are angry. Identify them and replace these emotions with better ones.
Consider the perspective of another person. Give them the benefit of the doubt you are eager to receive. Be honest. You have done and said hurtful things that have probably caused someone to shed tears at night. I’m sure you would want forgiveness yourself, so let go and forgive.
Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you've reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being.
Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life. Actively choose to forgive the person who's offended you. It takes a commitment to learn how to forgive. Become the victor that you want to be. As you let go of grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding. In essence you become selfless.
Remember it takes courage to forgive.