Every crayon-drawn family on paper has the entire family; parent and child alike and all of them in smiles. It represents the ideal that we should strive for, however we oftentimes miss the mark completely. Adults are responsible for the emotional well-being of themselves and their children. In this article we are going to highlight some examples of bad parenting habits and offer ways to curb the effect those toxic habits have caused.
Below is a list of parenting habits (bad decisions) that have adversely affected kids:
➔ Physical Abuse. Some parents sadly struggle with their emotions and resort to physically abusing their children; hitting them without cause. The scars it forms can be seen on a child’s skin, and can remain emotionally for a lifetime.
➔ They Are Overly Critical. This behavior causes the child to develop a harsh inner critic that can be borderline crippling during adulthood.
➔ They Make Toxic “Jokes” About You. These parents go beyond playfully picking on their kids or teasing them. Some parents resent their children for various reasons, and give jokes that makes a child feel very badly about themselves.
➔ They Ignore Healthy Boundaries. They raise up men and women that are too dependent upon their parents to make their every decision.
Most parents do not wake up and think of ways they could break down the spirits of their children, but sadly they may be doing so unknowingly. It may stem from good intentions or simply be a need they failed to meet. This is a list of the most harmful parenting habits:
➔ They fail to provide you with affirmation and security. When no good qualities of a child is celebrated, when faced with negative words from peers or mean spirited persons, they would have to struggle more to disregard those hurtful words.
➔ They do not spend quality bonding time with their children. Often times in order to provide a good standard of living, parents miss out of childhood life changing moments because they had to work overtime.
➔ Over Scheduling the child's life. Parents are said to want the best for their children, but the best might be a bit too much. They try to provide the child with things that they may have wanted when they were younger but to the child may perceive it as controlling.
➔ They do not allow you to express negative emotions. These parents are dismissive of a child’s negative feelings and emotional needs.
➔ Not allowing others to discipline. Undermining another adults disciplining methods teaches a child to disregard authority.
Here is a list of the most toxic phrases:
1. Don’t embarrass me.
2. I promise you we will… (AND NEVER DELIVER ON THAT PROMISE)
3. You should be more like… (COMPARING THEM TO OTHERS)
4. You will never amount to anything.
5. I don’t want to hear a peep out of you. Not another word!
6. If you do this for me, I’ll love you forever.
7. You’re old enough (They’re only three years old!)
And here are some ways to stop these toxic habits:
1. Say ‘I love you’ and praise their good works.
2. Do not cancel your plans to go out with them.
3. Allow them to practise making healthy wise decisions.
4. Gradually entrust them with child-like responsibilities.
5. Let them interact with children their age.
6. Let them know that it’s okay to feel sad.
7. Teach them to respect authority.
8. Do not compromise to get them to do stuff. No bribing!